Again? It wasn't even that big of a holiday this time (I mean fuss wise, not in significance) and I still have that horrible depression that I get after good times. I guess its that the fun is over and it is back to normal life. I don't think I hate my normal life, so I don't know why I am so depressed. I know a lot of it is having to do with the whole parents issue. I still really miss living with them. Does that go away? Maybe its kind of like quitting smoking. But when Clay was out of town they invited me to stay with them, and i didn't because i was afraid it would make it that much harder to leave again. plus i had massive studying to do for finals, and i needed to concentrate. but sometimes i just feel like i am being pushe too fast from the nest. i get mixed messages from them about how i should feel and behave. right now i need to be doing work on my care plan, but i feel so rotten i want to go back to bed. but realistically, i know going to bed would only be worse. at least if i am up and i go to school and clinical i will be distracted, and i may even have some fun. and i know its stupid but i still wish we all had the same spring break. though having one at all is certainly a luxury at this point in life, and i shouldn't be so ungrateful. and clay and i have a little getaway coming up in may, and we are going to see les mis this week with the parents and j, so its not like things are bad.
like i was telling clay the other day, maybe i just need to get over myself. in other countries people don't have time to be whiney and depressed. but i do have the time and i don't know what to do about it. it will go away in a day or so, when i forget or don't have time to remember...
posted by kate 6:48 AM