sorry this whole conversation makes me smile :)
MgllnOSU: oh oh
MgllnOSU: my mom and i were talking about religion again (we always do; this is normal) and she made some crack about me only knowing "what you watched on those cartoons...what was it called? superbook?"
Clay VT: ha!
MgllnOSU: i almost choked
Clay VT: heeheh
MgllnOSU: then i was laughing and trying to tell her that we didn't make it up (she tries to say jay and i imagined superbook) and i told her you knew what it was and you had copies
MgllnOSU: she found this hilarious
Clay VT: hehe
MgllnOSU: see? we DIDN'T make it up
Clay VT: nope i have the video right on my deks
Clay VT: desk
MgllnOSU: (for once)
Clay VT: somewhere....
MgllnOSU: oh those could be lost forever
MgllnOSU: need i remind you i've seen your desk?
posted by kate 9:23 PM
to post or not... hmm.
well, i'm feeling ok these past few days.
it's not bad anymore.
i wouldn't say its good to live here and have all this stress and very few friends and lots of classwork to make up and be so far away from you, but i'm getting better with it and it is a lot easier knowing that there is an exact time which should be somewhere near 31 days away that we can be together, instead of a random and undetermined "i hope to see you soon"
which is good
i can get used to always looking forward to something
just hard to get used to the time without
but if i have other things to think about then its better
posted by kate 11:35 AM
oh yeah that last post isn't saying i'm not ok
i was thinking about how it felt on my way to class and i liked some of my metaphors. thats all.
posted by kate 9:57 PM
~from the 'private sector' of my blogging...
...and the things i cannot say
come out in blood instead
in the feeling of it oozing
in molten rivers
down my arms and legs
in the sight of that dark flow
i find release
i have something that no one can take from me
as it stains my sheets
and soaks into the tissues
and i do a botched up job
of bandaging myself
and only later think about the scars i made
but its too late
those puffed up pink lines
will never go away
so do i feel better now?
did it help?
do i regret it?
i own this.
i possess this control.
i think deep down i know
that i will always think about it
that it won't go away any more than the scars will
but that i don't need it the way i used to
i don't know that i need it at all.
posted by kate 9:56 PM
So vast.
So deep.
I feel all the possiblities.
But your heart can't sleep.
It's always racing when you're next to me.
I want to show you all that I can give you.
Want to hold you close and understand.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I want to open up your eyes
To all that our love can be
And all of its mystery.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I've been searching all my life
For the fire I see in you.
I want to believe
So scared.
So strong.
Let's shake off all the secrets that were wrong:
Nightmares,
Dark songs,
All the monsters sleeping where they don't belong.
I want to live out all my dreams inside you.
But I will hold you close and understand.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I want to open up your eyes
To all that our love can be
And all of its mystery.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I've been searching all my life
For the fire I see in you.
I want to believe
I hear your whispers in the dark.
I hope your head won't tell your heart to turn
Away; or wake up in flames.
So vast.
So deep.
I feel all the possiblities.
Want to live out all my dreams inside you.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I want to open up your eyes
To all that our love can be
And all of its mystery.
I want to believe in you.
Want to be free in you.
I've been searching all my life
For the fire I see in you.
I want to believe in you.
I want to be free in you.
I want to believe.
posted by kate 12:28 AM
yeah this was supposed to be on snatch but i moved it here....
posted yesterday.
back from the warm and sun...
to the gloom and doom of columbus. if i didn't have a midterm in a few minutes, i'd be all over posting.
as is, i do.
ugh. something about returning to 34 degrees and 'dreary' (yeah they said that on the flight) has gotten me down. ok so maybe a little post...
i did not know it was possible to do so much in one weekend. i mean, wow. and honestly, i dreaded coming back here cause i knew i would hate it. even cleveland is better than this. i want to go home. not the place where you live, but the place where you belong...
still haven't exactly found that yet, but looking. the old "i don't know what i DO want, but i know what i DON'T want" syndrome that affects me almost daily lately.
I get so busy going nowhere
That sometimes I forget to cry
I saw this whole exisitence passing me by
I started to wonder where I was going,
And I couldn't remember where you went
So sometimes i just sob for hours, never knowing.
I don't know if it's what I've lost,
Or what I've found
That makes so many tears
yeah... i think i've lamented and pitied myself enough for now... need to find latin cultures book...
right
posted by kate 5:36 PM
don't think i'll ever be good at goodbyes...
posted by kate 12:02 PM